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Things To Tell Employers You Were Doing During The Gaps In Your Resume

26 September, 2012

Selecting the perfect Facebook cover photo

Meeting up with your friends at a water cooler to gossip

Counting down the minutes until happy hour

Comparing Groupon deals and Livingsocial deals

Making spreadsheets with no discernible purpose whatsoever other than to be printed out and stuck into a file cabinet

Planning a vacation, wedding or honeymoon in intricate detail

Blankly staring at your wall and spacing out

Smoking a cigarette every twenty minutes or so

Learning how to play minesweeper

Meticulously organizing and re-organizing pens, post-its and paperclips

Bidding on vintage concert poster auctions

Fantasy Football

Playing pranks on your neighbors

Trying to find someone on OKCupid

Updating your resume

Constantly analyzing everything you say to be sure to never offend anyone

Eating lunch for two hours

Experimenting with a new email signature

Pretending not to be annoyed when people tell you about their kids

Half-heartedly looking into Graduate School

Scheming ways to pass off your work onto someone else

Daydreaming

Reading your favorite blogs

Going through your cell phone contacts to delete people you don’t talk to

Typing out the entire alphabet in size 72 wingdings

Hustling

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